


The one with the ice cream

by promprom11



Series: bts crack au [1]
Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE, BLACKPINK (Band), EXO (Band), GOT7, ITZY, ITZY (Band), Mamamoo, Red Velvet (K-pop Band), Stray Kids (Band), TWICE (Band), TXT (Korea Band), X1 (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Annoyed Min Yoongi | Suga, Crack, Everyone Thinks They're Together, Flirty Kim Taehyung | V, Food, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Innocent Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sassy Kim Seokjin | Jin, Sope, Supportive Park Jimin (BTS), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Weird Plot Shit, Why Did I Write This?, all ships aren't really ships, also not really, jihope - Freeform, namjin - Freeform, not really - Freeform, smart namjoon, taekook, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-01-30 10:11:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21426511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/promprom11/pseuds/promprom11
Summary: This all started cuz Jungkook just wanted fucking ice cream, instead he now works at Mcdonalds with 6 other weird guys, will Jungkook survive the heat, will he get laid , and most importantly will he get to eat his ice cream
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin
Series: bts crack au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545331
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Fuck this shit i'm out

**Author's Note:**

> An au where jungkook wants some ice cream but the ice cream machine is broken  
( also some smexy stuff ) btw bts looks like how they look in boys with luv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook just wants some ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfic so i'm quite new to all of this. I also hope that you guys aren't silent readers, and will hopefully enjoy my works! Also this is a CRACK fic, and at the end of the story i'll have you judge on the next book for this series. Anyways please enjoy!

Jungkook just wanted some fucking ice cream. He had been waiting in line for 20 minutes now, and he was getting really pissed. He glanced at his watch for the fifth time and thought. "Shit i'm gonna be late to the I.U meet n greet." He snapped out of his thoughts when he suddenly heard loud banging coming from the ice cream machine. 

When he looked over he saw a short male with greyish hair banging the lifeu out of the ice cream machine. "I don't get paid enough to handle this shit." The shorter male said."Aye you muscle bunny." Jungkook turned around in confusion."me?" he asked ."No i'm talking to fucking Harambe yes you, look kid the ice cream machine is broken so do me a favor and fuck off."

Jungkook was so shocked at the rude cashier, so he decided to give him a piece of his mind." Listen yo-." but the short male interrupted him."No you listen you piece of shit, I don't care about you, your ice cream, or this fucking job, bitches like you are the reason I only get 12 hours of sleep when I could get the full 24." He countered. "Look I have to go meet I.U in a fe-" he began but he interrupted him again."Fuck I.U" Jungkook was shocked as he never heard someone speak so badly bout I.U, atleast not publicly. "Excuse me" Jungkook said in a offended tone, while shaking his head, still refusing to believe what he just heard."The short male looked done with life. "You heard me, or do I need to spell it out for for you. FUCK I . U, so if you don't shut the fu-"

"MIN YOONGI" A high pitch screech echoed. I turned around to see a very handsome male with like ashy grey hair, hands on his hips, with the biggest knife I've ever seen attached to his hip. “THAT ISN'T HOW WE TREAT OUR CUSTOMERS." The handsome one began. "Look Jin hyung I frankly don't give a flying fuck, now go bother someone else who cares enough to hear whatever shit you spit out." If I thought that "Jin's" expression didn't look murderous before, it sure did look murderous now.

"You know what Yoongi, iv'e had enough of your "bad boy persona", and your never ending cussing." Jin said while tapping his foot. "Does that mean your gonna fire me?" And to me the Yoongi guy look extremely hopeful. “Heavens no, you silly goose egg, your my slav- I mean employee, so i'm promoting you to sign boy." As I was watching this argument unfold before my very eyes, a shorter male with pinkish/orange hair sneaked up on me, and jumped on my back."WHAT THE FUCK." I manly screeched out.

“OH MAN HOLY SHIT, you ain't Tae." The shorter male said while slowly getting off of me. "Bitch do I look like-." But once again Jungkook was interrupted, but now by someone bursting through the door yelling."Guess what I got bitchessss, motherfucking Tea." Said the male with blue hair dressed in Gucci. I saw someone struggling to carry all the bags of Panda Express, and Gucci. The guy carrying said bags had blonde hair and was followed by someone with brown hair who looked like a fucking horse.

"Tae my number one favorite hoe." Horse face looked very disappointed but not suprised. "Hey No cussing we're children of Jesus" horse looking guy said. I had enough of this bullshit so I snapped."I just wanted some fucking ice cream, FUCKING ICE CREAM, it's hot as shit, I gotta meet I.U in a few minutes, if I wanted to have random men popping out of no where and screaming instead of helping me fix my issue, I would have watched a Jake Paul vlog, not that I would be caught dead near that thing." 

As I finished my rant the employees went quiet, and watched me in shock. Finally the Taehyung guy said."Did you just say you want to eat my ass more than bread, if so come to my house tomorrow at 5:00 p.m sharp, chim will tell you the address." Jimin raised his eyebrows. "Bro you trynna be like that one hoe Crystal?" Jimin asked. "No i'm a wayyy bigger hoe than her." Taehyung said and slut dropped to prove his point. "Wait, but isn't that how Crystal and Aiden got together?" Jin asked.

Taehyung whipped around and looked at me dead in the eyes and said."Paint me like one of your french girls papi, be the hotdog in my bun, slam me against the wall, like how I slam our meat patties. Rough." Taehyung said all this while stepping closer to me. "Fuck me like how I like my fries Long,Hot, and Delicious." Taehyung smirked seeing my Jr stand up with attention. He then delivered what I considered his killing blow as he whispered in my ear." And if done correctly i'll be like a ketchup bottle, I'll Squirt."

Taehyung took a step back and admired how the guy's bambi doe eyes widened, and his pupils start to blown with lust. “Who knew he was would be turned on by some food play, the more you know I guess.” Taehyung thought. Anyway Jungkook grabbed Taehyung by his hair and slammed him unto the table, and flipped him so that his ass was facing him. He then parted Taehyung's ass cheeks and thrusted his clothed dick in between, grunting at the pleasure he felt with his dick.

I grabbed the guy's hair and yanked it back, the guy below me seemed to be enjoying it as much as I did because he moaned out loud."You don't wanna play with fire baby, or else i'll never let you go, you hear that baby, I'm taking over you." I whispered into his ear. The guy whimpered and before I could do anything about it, a sharp pain suddenly overwhelmed me and I was knocked out. 

\---Taehyung's p.o.v---

I felt the guy slump on top of me and groaned."Why ya'll gotta cock block." I groaned out, as I slipped out from underneath the guy. I turned and saw Hoseok with a frying pan. "MY EYESSS MY POOR CHRISTIAN EYEESS, STOP IT, ADULTERY ADULTERY, GOD FORGIVE ME FOR I HAVE SINNED." Hoseok screamed while covering his eyes.“Dramatic hoe.” I muttered.

"Say what" Jimin said, with his hands on his hips."You, you, you bug." as soon as those words left Hoseok's mouth he gasped, and covered his mouth, tears clouding his eyes." Oh my gosh i'm so sorry I cussed, and that I hurt your feelings." Hoseok said as he ran towards the back to calm himself down with sprite.

"Shit we gotta hide the body, i'm to young to go to jail." Jin said, shaking his head, unsure of what to do. "You know what, we're a bit short on meat so if we jus-." Namjoon looked disgusted. "Don't finish that sentence Jinnie." Namjoon said in a disgusted tone."I'm pretty sure he's alive let's just wake him up." Namjoon said.

"I ain't doing shit, that bitch is annoying." Yoongi said with his arms crossed."No one asked hyung but OK. So does anyone have any idea on how to wake him up?" Namjoon asked."Well I could bust down on his dick." I suggested. "No, Taehyung that is a horrible idea, plus I really don't want to see that." Namjoon suddenly looked disgusted. "Wait I know, how about we pour our grease from the fryer on him, that will for sure wake him up!" Jimin happily exclaimed, while jumping up and down, clapping his hands.

"Heck no we're trying to wake him up, not give him 3rd degree burns, this is why you have no jams." Namjoon stated wisely. "Hey I know, why didn't I think of this any sooner." Jin said. Then Jin went to the guy, lifted him up to a chair, and proceeded to fondle his nipples. "I don't think that would w-" Namjoon began but as as he almost finished the guy woke up and pushed Jin's fingers away from his nipples. 

\--- Jk ---

I felt someone's hand fondle my nipples, I jolted upwards, and push their fingers away from my nipples. "Why the fuck are you touching my nipples, and why does my head hurt?" I asked, as I gripped the back of my head. "Did you just say you want to work for BangDonalds" I think Jin said "What no" I stammered."Silly child you don't even have to apply, your hired." Jin said while smiling."What no stop avoiding my question." I suddenly felt myself stir, so I looked down in between my legs and stated."Why the fuck am I hard?" Taehyng blushed "oppa" Taehyung began. "Nevermind i'm not hard anymore, and don't call me that bitch." I stated quite irritated at the situation at hand.

Taehyung then blushed and turned away. I took a mental note to keep him away from my dick."Jimin." Jin commanded."Bring the fetus to his positions."Yes sir" Jimin replied. I felt and saw the Jimin guy grab me and place a cap over my head. "Welcome to BangDonalds where people cry, kids shit and scream, and I get paid."

And that's how my miserable life as a BangDonalds worker began.


	2. They call me Baepsae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon makes the members write on how the feel about about each other, after Jungkook joins them ( this takes place one week after Jungkook is hired )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of cussing in this chapter also some bts references. Can you spot them all? Also this is a Jungkook p.o.v story in case that wasn't clear.

Of course fucking Namjoon would make me write a fucking essay about how I feel about working here.

Date: 11/15/18

This ain't a fucking diary cuz i'm to manly for that shit. This is what I caught up from one week of working here.

Jung Hoseok: Innocent/happy hoe  
He's the most optimistic out of the seven of us when working at this greasy slop. A customer would literally yell at his face for not having enough cheese in their Big mac, and bitch would go smiling all the way back to get a stack of cheese, and throw it at the customers face. Said customer ended up with a concussion, and a broken neck.

7/10 Cooking Skills: He ain't bad, but his specialty is chicken noodle soup, I don't know why the fuck he thought it was a good idea to add chicken noodle soup on the menu at a burger joint but whateves. He also makes and drinks alot of Sprite. Once we tried to let him go a day without sprite, bitch had a meltdown within ten minutes. At this point I don't know what's more bad for you, Sprite or Drugs.

9/10 Customer services: He get's along with everybody, and I mean Everybody. He got along with some chick named Becky G and they became best friends because they have similar interest in Chicken Noodle Soup. They even made a whole ass song about it, got 106 mil views, and he keeps making us dance to it. And he wonders why we left his ass at the gas station. 

8.5/10 Cooperation: He's gets along with us really well and he's REALLY funny, but he is too innocent at times. Like one day we we're playing a game where you couldn't say a certain word or you'll get sprayed with water and this dumb bitch didn't know he couldn't laugh and had the audacity to be confused when he got sprayed with water every 20 seconds, and we played that game for about 30 minutes. I swear if he screams at me or anyone else one more time about staying holy, and not cussing i'ma kill a hoe. I ain't afraid to got to jail, i'm a bad boy, and a bad bitch you can't kill me.

Min Yoongi: Bitchy Cat:( don't tell him I said that or he'll rip my balls off, he's done it before and it wasn't pretty. )  
Anything you'll do would piss him off. You could take one breath of air near him, and he'll beat the shit out of you for stealing his air.

8/10 Cooking Skills: Not bad, but some of his food taste like ball sack, that's probably because he ripped someone's ball sack ,fried them, and made them eat it.

-295,320,781/10 Customer Services: He hates people. Almost killed a guy cuz they called him lil meow meow. I tried to warn him but I guess I didn't try hard enough considering that he's been in a coma for like five days now.

0/10 Cooperation: Don't mess with him, and you'll have all your body parts. I remember when I tried to talk back to him cuz I wanted my ice cream. Bitch tried to run me over 50+ times, choke me to death 5+ times, and tried stabbing me 20+ times and it's been one week. The only reason i'm probably still alive is because I treat him out to lamb skewers daily. So yeah if you don't wanna live in fear for the rest of your life, Stay away from him.

Kim Taehyung: Sluttiest bitch you'll ever find walking on planet earth aka sex on legs ( I'm surprised that he doesn't have like 50 stds, or even 1 )

0/10 Cooking Skills: Can't cook for shit, i'll rather piss Yoongi off and that would guarantee death, than eat his food. He cooked one time, and a customer made the mistake of eating it, and is now on life support. Yes his cooking was so bad, that someone is on life support. His family tried to sue but Yoongi handled them pretty well. He's also always to busy getting fucked, than doing his actual job. A customer once bit into a used condom inside their burger, they still ate it tho.

10/10 Customer Skills: Every customers that has walked into BangDonalds always leave with a smile, and a satisfied Dick.

9/10 Cooperation Skills: He works well with us plus he gives AMAZING blow jobs.

Kim Namjoon: Intellectual Dumbass: Bitch got the highest gpa in Korea, but the amount of accidents he makes, makes my wallet weep. I swear on my I.U cds, Overwatch account, hentai, and porn stash that this bitch is smart as fuck, but dumb as hell at the same time.

-69mil/10 Cooking Skill: He can't cook to save his life. He literally broke the stove top knob, burned the place down so we had to get a new place. Like how the fuck you gonna be smart as hell, but you can't cut a fucking onion and burn said onion to the point we gotta get a new place.

7/10 Customer Skills: He's very friendly with customers, but half the food is fucked up by the time he gives it to them. I'm suprised he even befriended some chick name Halsey.

10/10 Cooperation Skills: He's the manager but the place is really owned by Jin. He does everything for us ( mostly Jin tho ), so he's Jin's bitch.

Kim Seokjin: Sassiest bitch on planet earth. Will fight you over anything just cuz he's the oldest. Also the only one to silence Yoongi and get away with it.

+100mil/10 Cooking Skills; He's so good at cooking that Gordan Ramsey would get on his knees, and beg to taste some of his food, cuz he's just that good.

1/10 Customer Service: He calls customers U.A.B ( ugly ass bitch ) if he doesn't like them. And customers don't really enjoy listening to him bragging about his face, and listening to his shitty dad jokes. ( Old ass bitch )

4/10 Cooperation Skills: He fights with coworkers ( usually me ) over the smallest shit. I could say wow this place is old, and he'll be like.“yah you think your gonna stay 22 forever ” and go on for hours. ( annoying hoe )

Park Jimin: Confident Bi  
He tends to attract a lot of male customers ( especially the black ones ). He'll be a sweet angel when a guy comes in, and a fucking demon when a girl comes in.

7/10 Cooking Skills: not bad but could be better.

10/10 Customer Service: He's either a Demon or an Angel. People like him are what makes me question life.

9/10 Cooperation: He works well with us, and has a great ass, but sometimes he's a bit clingy.

Me: The only normal hoe aka the baddest Busan bitch ever to exist.

9/10 Cooking Skills: I'm good but not as good as Jin hyung.

8/10 Customer Service: I'm good but call me oppa and I will beat your ass, I slapped Jin hyung cuz he called me that once, sis had a bruise on his cheek for about 2 weeks. Also I know i'm hot but please get your children to stop looking at me, we ain't at church.

9/10 Cooperation: I'll be your friend if you provide me with Lamb skewers, Hentai, I.U, And Banana milk.

So there yah go, and for the record I didn't go see I.U so you owe me some new tickets Namjoon, and some banana milk i'm thirsty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm your hope, your my hope i'm jhope
> 
> Also the chapter titles are now gonna be lyrics to Kpop/Bts songs


	3. Run away with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook and the boys babysit Jin's nephews.... TXT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You already know there's gonna be some cussing ;) also txt looks like how they look like in the Run Away mv.

I was minding my business while walking to my Mercedes-Benz, when I hear footsteps behind me, I turned around slowly and spotted Jin Hyung walking towards me. "Where do you think your going riding alone, you remember what happened last time right?" Jin asked.

FLASHBACK

It was the 2nd day of Jungkook working at BangDonalds, and he was buying Yoongi some lamb skewers so that he would stop trying to kill him. As he was turning across the intersection, a rouge taxi driver appeared. He was getting closer, and closer, and closer when all of the sudde-." ( End of flashback )

Jungkook shuddered. "Let's not go there." I said. "Anyway, I need you to do something for me." I looked at Jin, raising my eyebrows. "What's in it for me?" I asked curiously. "Hentai, I.U, and Banana M-." Jin stated but I didn't let him finish.

"Say no more you got me at hentai." I stated. Jin rolled his eyes. "Look I need you to babysit my nephews, I was supposed to do so but Joonie and I are going to see It chapter 2." Jin stated. "Nope I hate children, I ain't Steve Fucking Harrington." I stated while crossing my arms. "Fine, i'll add white shirts, and new timbs on the list." Jin Hyung stated annoyed."Fine, can I go now." but Jin didn't listen and continued. "They should be arriving at your house soon." Jin stated. "Kay, now leave me alone hyung." Jin took a step back and gasped. "Dramatic hoe." I murmured.

"Yah i'm your hyung, I ate my bowls of rice than you, I feed you, I provide you with more things, that I can't even count them all with my fingers." Jin yelled. "Look hyung I really don't give a fu-." 

TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY JIN BEATING JUNGKOOK'S ASS AT THE PARKING LOT

I opened the door to my house and saw some teen with bright blue hair sitting on my couch with a cut on his thumb, stabbing at my hentai magazines. "Who the fuck are you, and GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HENTAI MAGAZINE." I stated reaching for my hentai. "Jungkookie hyung." The blue haired guy said as he stood up. "Sorry, I was bored, by the way i'm Yeonjun." I sighed tossing away the ruined hentai. Then a random teen popped up with grey hair and kicked a soccer ball at my face, good thing I have fast as fuck reflexes, so I dodged it with ease. 

Both of the teen's eyes widened. "BEOMGYU" Yeonjun screeched. "That's Jungkook hyung, you don't just kick a soccer ball at him." Beomgyu looked sorry, and looked down." Sorry." As I was seething silently, a teen with some AirPods creeped up behind me and screeched out."DID SOMEONE SAY JUNGKOOK, AS IN THE BANGDONALDS WORKER JUNGKOOK." I whipped around to find some teen bowing down before my feet, the teen continued."I HEARD TALES OF YOU SAVING CUSTOMERS FROM EATING TAEHYUNG'S FOOD." I covered my ears not wanting to go deaf at age 22."Can this kid shut the fuck up." 

"Yea." I said, and I regret saying those words since the teen pounced on me, and started to hold me tightly, not letting go. I'm Taehyun, and I will serve you for the rest of my days.” I never haved rolled my eyes so hard until now. Then I heard a horrible screeching sound. I turned around with the Taehyun kid still in my arms and find some teen drawling over the wood floor with chalk. I think both my eyes twitched in anger, and my veins bugled. I remember thinking “I'm about to beat this bitch up.”

"KAI." Yeonjun screeched. "Wow these kids sure love screeching." I thought. The kai guy looked up."Oh shit." As I made my way towards him, Kai scrambled back trying to escape my wrath, but some teen with red glasses stopped him."Soobin, LET ME GO." Kai screeched. 

The Soobin guy looked at him and said."No can do, this is your problem." As soon as I was about to kill him, the doorbell ranged. I went to open the door and opened it to find my hyungs there with pillows, and Hoseok was dragging a furious Yoongi towards the door. "You thought we'll let you suffer alone." Jimin said. "TXT" Hoseok said while hugging the boys.

"So these were the boys Jin hyung told me to babysit." I thought. "Well since we're all here i've brought some movies that we could watch." Taehyung said. "You know what that sounds like a good idea." I said.

IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA

Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jimin were having a debate over mint chocolate ice cream, while Yoongi was teaching the others how to be swag, and I couldn't sleep cause that one Taehyun bitch kept starring at me. Every damn time I would close my eyes, I would hear a camera go off, and i'll open my eyes, and the bitch was there smiling at me holding the camera. Beomgyu would then turn to me and explain that the guy has a huge man crush on me, and basically worships me. He also mentioned that he had a shrine dedicated to me, thats not creepy at all.

I like having fans, but this guy needs to calm his dick down. I wanted to go pee and this bitch followed me to the bathroom. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to whip your dick out and pee, while some minor stares, and takes pictures of your dick, constantly praising it, and saying how beautifully your pee looks. Really fucking weird.

Anyways, when we got back everybody was watching Frozen fucking FROZEN, as me and my stalker sat down. Taehyung screamed at the tv." LOVE AIN'T AN OPEN DOOR, I OPEN MY DOOR TO TANNIE SO MANY TIMES AND THAT BITCH DON'T LOVE ME." Everyone gasped. “I'm sure Tannie will love you." Kai said while comfortably rubbing his back. Then Jimin stood up and saluted and said. "Off I go bitchess, this ass ain't about to grow thicker by itself." and went to the kitchen. We all looked at him and decided to call it a night.

Time skip brought to you by Namjin coming back home too drunk and sleeping.

"I'm the one I should love." Jin sang as he went down the stairs, he went to go eat some leftover chicken, but when he tried to open the fridge, Jimin was on the floor passed out."Yah, wake up bitch, I know that your a bottom but that don't mean you gotta sleep at the bottom of the fridge." Jimin woke up and groaned and slid away. Jin stared in confusion, but it didn't matter cause he was about to dive in some chicken. However when Jin opened the fridge, he saw makeup products. As he stared in confusion, an arm reached out to grab a toner.

He turned around to see Jungkook applying make up to his face. Jungkook then looked to his side and said to Taehun."You want some." Taehyun replied with."Hell yea, also can I apply it to your face master." Jungkook had long given up on shooing him away and said."Sure, why not, also rub it in softly." Jin watched the pair walk away and closed the fridge discouraged, and walked away.

Hoseok walked to the living room and found everybody eating ice cream while the place was a mess. He cringed with anger, and quietly stepped up to them. 

Meanwhile Jungkook was laughing at peppa pig fan edits, when he felt a hand on his shoulder, while Namjoon was laughing at Jungkook laughing at peppa pig fan edits when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "FOLLOW ME." Taehyung heard and squealed in shock and chocked on his ice cream, while everyone turned around and screamed.

Screams of pain where heard around the neighborhood.

Jisoo p.o.v

"Did someone just die?" I asked. Lisa replied with. "Who." I pointed to the house where the BangDonalds woker lived. "Eeh, less competition for us." Lisa said with a shrug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your my hope , i'm your hope, i'm j-dope


	4. Persona who the hell am I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The BangDonalds crew reacts and meets BTS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't posted in a long time and i'm sorry for that so i decided t make this chapter much longer than the usual, also I will upload two more times for the Thanksgiving, and Black Friday special as i'm already working on the fifth chapter. Also I might want to change the archive warning because I already have the ending to this book planed out and I can't decide if I want to add it or nah. 
> 
> Some Korean Vocab:  
Sesangeul Jwossene = I gave the world  
Jeonbu Bakkwosseo = I change everything

Taehyung was bursting through the door with some tea."Bitches, I have some tea" Taehyung said as he slammed his hands down on the counter. "What is it hyung" I asked already done with him. "Well I was surfing through YouTube as you do, and when I found these famous people named BTS, who look exactly like us, like some next level shit!" Taehyung exclaimed while grabbing the remote. "Taehyung a customer could come in at any moment no-" Namjoon started but Taehyung cut him off. "Let them be blessed to see and hear such talent, plus they might think it's us." 

Taehyung said while jumping with joy "I mean we have the exact same name, voice, and looks too." "That explains why people keep on asking for my autograph, and asking me take pictures with them, I just thought they were doing that because I looked fine as hell while serving whatever the hell they ordered." I was jungshook that I may be wrong, but I look hot as hell. "Exactly, if we can manage to trick the customer into thinking that we're BTS. BOOM. We gonna be some rich bitches." Taehyung said while clapping

"You know what Tae, that was the smartest shit you've ever spewed out your mouth, and I thought i'll never live to see that day." I stated, I must have looked amazed because Hoseok stated. "And he's jungshook" I rolled my eyes so hard "I like the idea." Namjoon started "But shouldn't we check out their music, and then decide?" Taehyung rolled his eyes so far up his head I thought it was gonna stay up there. "Fine hyung" Taehyung sighed "Which one do ya'll wanna watch." Yoongi then pointed to one that had the guys back turned to us. "This one." he said "Boys with luv ft Halsey " I read out, squinting to see the words. 

"Hey Namjoon hyung, isn't Halsey the name of that one chick your best friends with ?" My question must have done something to Namjoon hyung because Namjoon's brows furrowed. "Now that you mentioned it yea that's her name, you think that she's famous too. I mean it makes sense cuz she would always be like "Since when did you own a burger joint, I thought you guys were still up and kicking as idol's." "Illuminati confirmed." Hoseok screeched out " SHUT UP !" We all screamed at Hoseok in unison, however as soon as it left our mouths we regretted it because Hoseok was in tears, and a sad Hoseok was a Hoseok you never wanted to see. "Hey I have sprite." Yoongi said while biting his lips softly.

At the mention of sprite, Hoseok stop sniffling. "Sprite" he whimpered. "Yes sprite, and you can have it Hoseok." Yoongi said softly "Really?" Hoseok then hesitatingly took the sprite and hugged Yoongi. "Thank you Yoongi" Hoseok said while hugging Yoongi. "No problem Hoseok." Yoongi said while uncomfortably patting his back. I did what everyone sope shipper did. I whipped out my phone, took thousands of picture, while screaming. I also had a different motive for taking the pictures, I needed to blackmail Yoongi so he would stop trying to kill me.

However it turns out that I wasn't the only one taking pictures, everyone else did to. Yoongi froze, then he scowled softly. If looks could kill everyone ( except Hobi hyung ) would be six feet under. "I hate to break it to you, but I want to watch BTS not some sappy k-drama." Taehyung said as he smirked. It all happened so fast, Yoongi's hands were suddenly around Taehyung's neck, shaking and squeezing it so hard, I thought he must've killed Taehyung, if that happened my dick would weep cuz no more fap material. However Hoseok managed to pry Yoongi's hand off Taehyung's neck and calm him down. Taehyung's hands flew to his neck, coughing in air, and then said with a shaky breath he said "Wow hyung didn't know you had a thing for choking Yoongles, however I would prefer to be choking on your di-" Yoongi growled, and Taehyung stopped, trying to get more air into his lungs. "I'm going to kill you, watch." Yoongi mouthed at Taehyung, which he gulped. "Can we watch Boys with luv now." I whined breaking the murderous tension. "OK bitch hold on." Jin said while snatching the remote and pressing play."

6 HOURS LATER

"I'M THE ONE I SHOULD LOVEEEEE, LOVEEEEEE, LOVEEEEEEEEEE" We all sang hand in hand, swaying together with tears in our eyes. I-I-I Fucking love myself, I-I-I" I began clearly trying to express how I feel but failing. "It's okay Jungkook, group hug" Hoseok said, and we group hugged. "I love myself, If BTS tells you to love yourself, you fucking love yourself" I said while hugging myself. "It's so sad that with all their hard work, they didn't get nominated in the Grammy's" Jimin said while tears began to flow freely down his face. "Fuck the Grammy's, fuck them and their biased show" Yoongi said with a murderous expression on his face. I think a tear slid down his face, but Yoongi crying pfft I must be seeing things.  
"No cussing, but I dislike them a lot, they're butt holes" Hoseok said while crying freely. "Like that one bitch b-free, if I ever see that ugly piece of shit, I'm gonna go to jail for first degree murder" Jin said while sharpening his butcher knife. 

"Guys" Namjoon said while standing up. "BTS works so damn hard, they came from nothing and now look at them, one of the most successful groups in history. I want you guys to take this seriously, look up to them as your inspiration to work harder no matter how hard the trials will be because together we can overcome them. I know BTS didn't get nominated for the Grammy's, and i'm pretty sure they know that as well, but are they gonna sit down and let one loss affect them, hell no and neither should we." " The Grammy's doesn't deserve BTS and neither do we, but they're here for us. 

So I hope that you guys can learn that not everyone always get what they want, there will always be haters, and losses, but don't let that stop you from being you because at the end of the day you'll have someone to support you. We're family and I love you guys, no matter what happens." Namjoon said with tears in his eyes. There was a moment of silence so I broke it. "NAMJOON, NAMJOON, NAMJOON" I chanted, soon after everyone joined in. "Group hug" Jin yelled, so we did. "Hold up, i'm happy and shit, but how come we didn't get a single customer the whole time we've been here ?" Jin asked. I turned around and found the sign, but the open part was facing us. 

"Yoongi" Jin growled "Shit" and so the rest of the night we tried to stop Jin from killing Yoongi. We all sighed when we finally stopped Jin, so I went over and flipped the sign so the closed part was facing us. We all went to the back room aka the rec room, and changed into our bt21 pj's Tae ordered for us while binge watching run bts, and fell asleep. I woke up sometime at 7:45 am, remembering that my dumbass left BangDonalds open and ready when we were all sleeping. So I slipped on my airpods listening to Fake Love in my Kookie pajamas.

"I wanna be a good man, Just for you." I sang "Sesangeul jwossne, just for you, Jeonbu Bakkwosseo, just for you." That's when I heard someone sing. "Now I dunno know me." It was like my voice, but not really my voice. I turned around to find the one and only Jeon Jungkook smirking at me, but the smirk slowly fell when he saw my face. I sang confused " Who are you?"

"Holy lamb skewers you look exactly like me." Jeon Jungkook said." No shit, i'm just as suprised." I said with a shook expression on my face."Well fuck me in the ass and call me Virgin Mary, is that THE famous Jeon Jungkook." I turned around to see Taehyung leaning on the back door with a cup of tea in his hand. "Hyung I thought you were in the car, and how did you get back there ?"Jeon Jungkook asked confused. "Nah i'm not YOUR Taehyung, i'm just Taehyung." Taehyung said while sipping his tea." Jungkook what's taking so lon-" The Kim Taehyung said, but stopped when he saw two Jungkooks, and another him. " Wow i'm looking good." Taehyung said to Kim Taehyung. "Pardon ?" Kim Taehyung asked.

"Why are ya'll being so loud ?" Jimin asked tiredly. "Jimin ? " Jeon Jungkook asked. "What you want asshole, and call me hyung you dick." Jimin said while rubbing his eyelids. "It's eight in the fucking morning and I need my ass sleep, like this ass isn't gonna grow thicker with interrupted sleep." Jimin said shaking his head. "Also am I seeing things, cuz why the fuck are there two Jungkooks, and Taehyungs?"

"Well Jimin hyung, these two over there are the actual Bts Jungkook and Taehyung." I said while pointing at them. "And you just cussed out The Jeon Jungkook, how you feel." I smirked seeing the knowledge hit Jimin like a train. Jimin's eyes widened and he squeaked out an apology."Sorry Jungkook. I thought I was talking to this asshole over here." Jimin said while pointing to me.

The rest of Bts came in, and stopped upon seeing us all. It seemed that fate wanted us to meet as the rest of the BangDonalds crew came in as well and did the same exact thing. It was deadly silent until JImin said to the Bts Jimin. "Hey nice ass." The Park Jimin smirked."Same here brother." The Kim Seokjin then said after rolling his eyes. "Are you guys our dopplegangers, cuz I saw a creepypastsa that said that if you saw your doppleganger it's considered bad luck." Both Hoseoks looked scared. "Bad luck" they both whimpered in unison.

"Yea that's what he just said." Jin said coming to the defense of his "twin", then both Hoseoks screeched in fear, and fainted. "I just wanted a fucking burger" Jeon Jungkook said. "And I wanted some ice cream, but I guess the universe just wants to fuck us over." I said with a small smile. However the moment didn't last long as Bang Pd-nim came bursting through the door.

"Hey guys, OH MY HOLY CHOPSTICKS, please say i'm kidding when I say that i'm seeing both of all of you." We all looked at each other and shrugged. "Depends, I could tell you but I don't want to" I said with a smirk on my face "Good one" Jeon Jungkook said as we high fived. "I think my eye sight must be getting bad." Pd-nim said while shaking his head. "I'm just gonna go back in the car just get me something." Pd-nim said as he walked away.

Things were quiet for some time, then I said. "Welcome to BangDonalds what can I get for you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will edit the previous chapters as well since I find some errors with it. Also this is my first fanfic so i'm frankly new here, and i'm way younger than your average fanfic writer. Also I have twitter and i'm gonna do some polls for this book and some teasers for the next chapters. Twitter name is Promprom111 i'll add the link in a later chapter. However have a nice day and keep doing you boo.


	5. Samgyeopsal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bts has thanksgiving, but this year it's more chaotic since they have a new member.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll   
I'll thankful for everything, and you guys!  
I hope you like this special cuz it's really long.  
Also alot of references to Cameron Philip's Bts dubs, and Kookie-Scenario's Thanksgiving video

When I walked into my house, I wasn't expecting the crew to be sitting at my dinner table with wine glasses in their hand, and food already at the table." Jungkook just the man we've been waiting for." Jin hyung said as he dragged me to the dinner table." How the hell did you guys get into my house ?" I asked confused, and a bit creeped out. Taehyung smirked." I called your fan Taehyun to get me a copy of your current keys, hope you don't mind Kookie." I rolled my eyes." That bitch." I said while shaking my head." Anyway now that we're all here, I would like to start this years Thanksgiving with a toast." Jin hyung announced as he whipped out a sheet of paper, while standing up.

" Ahem." Jin hyung started." I just wanted to say that this years thanksgiving wouldn't be possible without me, because i'm worldwide handsome." Jin declared." More like, worldwide bitch is what you are." Taehyung suddenly said while glaring daggers at Jin's head. " Oh no, here we go again." Jimin moaned." What do you mean by " here we go again?" But before I could get my answer Jin hyung said." Excuse you bitch, I was talking." Taehyung then stood up." Do you actually think that your better looking than me, do you?" Taehyung asked firmly.

" Do you actually think that you've ascended past me and became the most beautiful man in BangDonalds." Taehyun said while raising his eyebrows." Do you really think it's possible to ascend past me." Taehyung started, but Jin cut him off." You know damn well that i'm the most handsome man not only in this group, but in the entire fucking universe, and it's not even close." Jin said while lowering his wine glass." Oh please give me a break." Taehyung said while rolling his eyes." Fuck this shit bro, get out of here." Jin said while crossing his arms. 

Meanwhile i'm sitting here, drinking my wine like it's tea while watching this go down, and I know i'm not the only one doing so." Does this happen often." I turned to whisper to Jimin." Every fucking thanksgiving." He replied looking annoyed." But you know it's true, you know these are the facts." Taehyung replied while lowering his wine glass." I know I have more beauty in my left ball sack, than you do in your entire body motherfucker, so you better lay off right now." Jin yelled at Taehyung.

" Oh man holy shit." I said as I wasn't expecting Jin hyung to be this cruel. Even Yoongi hyung looked surprised by Jin's burn." Tell me your more handsome than me one more time, I will turn around, bolt right at you, and fucking demolish you in front of them." Taehyung said as he pointed towards us." I will fucking do it." Taehyung finished." Oh i'll like to see you try little man, I really would, have you seen these shoulders bitch, HAVE YOU SEEN THESE SHOULDERS." Jin screamed while clapping his hands.

" Oh shit, he just clapped you know shit's about to go down when someone claps their hands." Jimin said while sipping his wine." See this is what i'll do, mid-spoonful, I'll turn around like this." Taehyung said as he turned around to prove his point." And i'll absolutely end you, right here." Taehyung said while point at the floor." This is ridiculous, i'm worldwide handsome." Jin said. As soon as those words left Jin hyung's mouth, Taehyung growled, he fucking growled. 

I'm not talking about a cute dog growl, no i'm talking about how a fucking wolf would growl at their prey. Taehyung's right eye twitched, and he took steps forward till he was face to face with Jin hyung, and said." Say it again, I fucking dare you." I was kinda shook at how deep Taehyung's voice was when he said those words." Oh shit, this is more exciting than the Logan Paul VS KSI rematch, and that was fucking exciting." Jimin whispered into my ear.

" I said i'm worldwide handso-" Jin hyung never got to finish his sentence as Taehyung slapped the mess out of him, like he slapped Jin hyung so hard that my eardrums were ringing, I beat the whole neighborhood could hear that slap. Things got deadly quiet as we were waiting for Jin hyung to retaliate. Jin hyung nodded his head slightly before lunging at Taehyung and dragging him by his hair down the hall.

" Is he gonna be ok." I asked as I heard screams of pain." Oh he'll might be limping for a while, but that's a sight we've all seen from Taehyung before, so nothing new." Jimin said while sipping his wine. 

20 MINUTES LATER

Taehyung returned with a black eye, bruises littered down his neck, and a nose bleed that he was wiping every ten seconds, and a torn gucci shirt which he was crying, and pouting over, while seokjin had a nose bleed, and a cut along his jaw line, a black eye, and a bruise on his cheek from Taehyung's slap." Ahem " Hoseok began." Now that's out of our system, you both look hot as fudge, so can we eat our food." They both looked at Hoseok as if he was the trash at the bottom of their shoes." What do you think Kookie?" Taehyung asked while wiping his nose bleed.

" I think your both beautiful, but I always end up in Taehyungs bed so." Taehyung smirked." What." Jimin said looking shocked."Only to cuddle, cause he likes to cuddle while playing Overwatch, sometime we do a little bit more, but if I go into the details you wouldn't want to eat any more." I said while shrugging." This is why I regret not putting your ass up for adoption." Jin hyung said in a disgusted tone.

" Aw thanks, Kookie." Taehyung said as he winked at me." Hey I know I said I would keep him away from my dick but the dick wants what it wants." I thought to myself." Well how about you Jiminie." Taehyung said as he batted his eyelashes." Look Taehyung your my best friend, and Jin your like my older brother, so it's so hard to pick in this situation. So i'm just gonna pick Jungkook." Jimin said as he hugged me. " Thanks, I guess." I said back.

" Listen Jin, do I think your ugly, no not really, but do I think your more handsome than me, in this economy, not a fucking chance brother." Taehyung said to Jin." Listen we all know that i'm more handsome, I'm honestly still ready to throw some more hands, I love you to death, but how can you be so blind, like look at me." Jin shot back.

" Listen you two, put your differences aside, we've got a thanksgiving dinner to enjoy, so I swear to god if you don't finish this dumbass argument within the next minute, i'll personally choke slam both of you through the floor." Namjoon said already sick of the argument." Listen Taehyung, I think that your gorgeous, hot, and handsome, and no one can deny that, but i'm still more handsome." Jin finished.

" Oh my gosh." I groaned, and so did everyone else, I even heard Taehyung mutter." This bitch just." While shaking his head." How old are we, how fucking old are we." Namjoon said while pinching the bridge of his nose." This argument is ridiculous when we have a whole Min Yoongi over here looking like a buffet 24/7." Hoseok said, and as Hoseok said those words Yoongi blushed a deep red.

" Finally, now can we eat?" A chorus of "Sure" was heard." Guys i'm only here because of the food." Jin hyung said." No one asked, so shush Jin hyung." Hoseok hyung snapped out." I'm gonna roast Jin hyung like this pizza." I said " Shut up you fetus." Jin yelled at me." Fetus." I said in a deadly, but calm tone. I think my muscles must have been flexing because Taehyung gulped loudly. " Kookie can you not flex your muscles, your scaring me." Taehyung said as he grabbed my arm to sit me back down." Fine." I growled, but only as a warning to Jin hyung to not provoke me.

" Shush, don't make him angry Jin " Hoseok said to Jin hyung. "Go back to where you belong, the sun." Jin countered. " Shut up Jin, your Namjoon trash, so go back to where you belong, in a trashcan." Jimin said as he defended Hoseok." At least I don't have a one sided love story with Jungkook." Jin shot back. I didn't want to be apart of this, so I ate my noodles as quiet as I could." Was that a diss?" Jimin asked." I think he meant to say that you should fucking give up." Taehyung said while sipping his coke.

"Amazing interpretation Taehyung." Jin said while slapping Taehyung on the back, Taehyung winced when he did that." Thanks hyung." Taehung replied." Can we please make this years thanksgiving, an actual thanksgiving this year." Namjoon pleaded." Yea, let's do that." Hoseok said while raising his sprite glass." Cheers." I said." Cheers " Everyone chorused after me." Well what else do you do on thanksgiving?" Hoseok asked." I don't know, we've never had a normal thanksgiving together." Namjoon answered while sipping his noodles.

" Well you spend time with your loved ones, right Jungkook?" Jimin asked. I groaned internally cause I just wanted to eat my food in peace, so I didn't answer." The alcohol is here." Yoongi said. " Don't get drunk kids, this is a family friendly event." Jin said in a motherly tone." YES MOM." We all shouted at Jin. As we finally started eating our food, Jin said." Being together with you guys should be important, but honestly this turkey leg is much more important than all ya'll combined." Jin said while worshiping the turkey.

"And your face makes me want to throw up everything I just ate." I countered for no reason." So what are you guys thanksgiving resolutions, mines is to be a better man to Jungkook." Jimin said with a smile. I honestly was starting to feel uncomfortable. Well that's scientifically impossible." Taehyung said while picking at his noodles." I'm not leaving this party without drinking sprite." Hoseok said, as he filled his glass with more sprite." Fuck it, i'm getting drunk." I said while downing a shot of wine like a pro." WHAT HAPPENED TO STAYING FAMILY FRIENDLY." Jin yelled. " Fuck family friendly." I said, as I filled my glass with more wine.

30 MINUTES LATER

" Jungkook are you drunk?" Taehyung asked."Nope." I replied while taking a bite of some random apple I found." Isn't that poisonous?" Jimin asked. I looked at the apple I just taken a bite into." This is poison apple, you know? But i'm okay because i'm jk." I replied while leaning back into my chair, arms spread out, and wriggling my eyebrows." Fuck that's hot." Taehyung said drunkenly.

" Did you know that erosion is the process by which sediment and other materials are moved from one place to another. Eroded materials in streams may come from the streams own bed and banks, or from materials carried to the stream by rainwater runoff. Over time erosion causes streams to widen and deepen. Also did you know that canyons and valleys are made by erosion, Floodplains by deposition . It's really interesting how the earth works sometimes becaus-." 

30 MINUTES LATER AGAIN

"And that's why each input must have only one output, or else it wouldn't be a function anymor-" Yoongi hyung cut him off." Shut up Namjoon, your drunk." Namjoon hyung just stared at him." Is this years thanksgiving already ruined?" Taehyung asked." You wish." Hoseok hyung replied." Can we just eat the food in peace?" Yoongi asked bored." Lets Dab." Taehyung said, and he did." Dabbing in 2019, your cancelled." Jimin said to Taehyung.

" Jimin your non existent date with me is cancelled." I said defending Taehyung." WHAT." Everyone gasped." He forgot to log out of my computer, so I ended up reading the Jikook fanfic he wrote and published on wattpad." I explained." Don't tell them that." Jimin said annoyed. " HAHAHAHAHAHa Fucking loser." Taehyung said to Jimin." Shut up Tae, your just jealous that you don't have Jungkook's dick in your mouth." Jimin snapped." One, you must have forgotten that i'm the biggest slut here, and that I can get dick anytime I want." Taehyung said while smirking.

" Is this true Jungkook?" Jimin asked me. Everyone at this point turned, and looked at me for confirmation. " My dick wants, what it wants." I shrugged while innocently sipping my wine." OK, what are ya'll thankful for." Hoseok interrupted." Porn, Hentai, I.U, Banana Milk, the list goes on." I said." I'm thankful for Jungkook." Jimin said. " Gucci, Panda Express, oh and dicks." Taehyung said." Not surprised slut." Jimin muttered but Taehyung heard him." Shut up bitch, come talk to me when you have a life." Taehyung snapped.

" Wow, i'm thankful for sprite and Yoongi." Hoseok cheerfully exclaimed." Food." Jin said." Crabs." Namjoon hyung replied." Death" Yoongi hyung replied with the most bored face i've ever seen on him." Well, ya'll better catch some sleep, because tomorrow is going to be hella eventful." Jin hyung said." Aye." Taehyung said, and he dabbed once more. We all had to drag Jimin away from stabbing Taehung to death.

And that's how thanksgiving with the BangDonalds crew was yet another failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Hopefully ya'll get them sales tomorrow!


	6. Today we will survive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its Black Friday......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya'll got your stuff, and enjoy this special !

I woke up to find Taehyung jumping on my bed."Wakey, Wakey." Taehyung said in a sing song tone."What the hell do you want ?" I asked while sitting up straight. I could see Taehyung looking at my muscles, but that's a topic for another day. "Did you forget Kookie, Its Black Friday !" Taehyung exclaimed and jumped up, clasping his hands together."So ?" I asked quite annoyed at my sleep being ruined."We HAVE to go shopping." Taehyung said while pulling me up from the bed.

"Uhhh." I groaned sleepily."Fine, just leave me alone for a bit." I said trying to convince Taehyung to go away."No can do Kook, gotta make sure you don't sleep on me." Taehyung said as he grabbed my hand and led me into the bathroom."Go do your thing, Joon hyung said we have to be down by 7:45." Taehung said while glancing down at his watch."Also Jin made your favorite, Banana Milk." Taehyung said as he closed the bathroom door."Banana Milk." I repeated as my eyes widened. I assume its safe to say that I got finished early.

As I sat down at the dinner table, pancakes were placed in front of me."Dig in you brat." Jin said as he wiped his hands on a towel."So whats the news ?" I asked."Well since today is Black Friday, I decided to spice it up." Namjoon began."Spice it up, what do you mean ?" I asked clearly confused."Well, I wanted to do a challenge, whoever finishes do quest first will win 500 dollars and a scooter." Namjoon said while folding his hands. 

"Five hundred dol- oh my gosh." Jimin suddenly announced jumping up and down."A scooter, now I've got to win." Taehyung said to himself. We all looked at him."You want a SCOOTER, when you could win 500 dollars?" I asked, clearly suprised at the stupidity of Taehyung."Uh yea, that's what I just said dumbo, this is why i'm gonna be a shining solo. Taehyung said as he made the " Are you stupid" face."Woah not so fast, we're doing this with partners." Namjoon said as he lifted himself up, went to go get something, and brought back a bowl with paper in it.

"I'm assuming that we're supposed to put our hand in there, choose a name, and that will determine who are partners are going to be." I said looking up at Namjoon for approval."Yes, your right, so everyone gather around and put your hand in the bowl." Namjoon voiced, while gathering us all like sheep.

"I'll go first." And for some reason I thought that no one would object to me going first, however I was wrong."Why should you go first Jungkook, your practically a baby, let me go first." Jin announced as he tried to pull me back to go in front of me, however I stopped him by putting my hands across his chest."Oh just cause i'm the youngest it doesn't mean I can't go first hyung." Jin didn't take this well."Oh its because your the youngest, and i'm way to old to go first." Jin mocked.

"Listen we're NOT fighting today, we had enough of that yesterday." Namjoon said, clearly putting an end to the argument."Jimin, why don't you go first." We watched as Jimin made his way to the bowl, and drew a name."Hoseok." He announced smiling."YAY, let's go Jiminie." We all watched as Hoseok grabbed Jimin, hugged him, and pinched his cheeks."Ahem." Namjoon , cleared his throat." Jin, you make go now." Jin stuck out his tongue at me, so I did it back.

"Joonie." Jin said while waving the piece of paper in Namjoon's face."Ok" Namjoon then gestured for him to stop doing that."Yoongi." Yoongi then scowled, walked up to the bowl and said."Jimin." Jimin, and Hoseok both turned around and grouped hug him."EW." Yoongi tried to get out of it, but failed miserably."That leaves us to Jungkookie." Taehyung then grabbed my arm and said."So when does it start." 

"Hold on, I have to pass out the quest papers." Namjoon said as he passed out the papers.

\------ THE QUEST ------

YOU MUST TAKE PICTURES, OR VLOG FOR PROOF

1\. You must go and buy some Meat ( As someone ate it all )

2\. Then buy some new equipment for the place ( anything you want that's family friendly ) 0/5

3\. Then look for some matching clothes and wear them all day

4\. Get 5 people to take a picture of you

5\. Convince someone to give you the item they want to buy 0/3

6\. Go to Burger Queens, GotChicken, And Blinkotle to spy on the competition, so order and take pictures for proof ( We need the tea - Jin hyung )

7\. You must go to an arcade, and beat the highest score in two games 0/2

8\. Then you must buy Ramen noodles 0/10 packs

9\. Convince people that your dating 0/5

10\. Come back and find your Bt21 character that's hidden around the place by TxT:Jungkook= Kookie, Taehyung= Tata, Jimin= Chimmy, Hoseok= Mang, Yoongi= Shooky, Seokjin= Rj, Namjoon= Van

As I finished reading the instructions out loud, Namjoon announced."Ready, set, go"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhangers, don't we hate them. However I will continue this chapter later so you wouldn't be left in suspense


	7. Ephinany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its Jin birthday
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to worldwide handsome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wote this on our king's birthday, are you proud of me? Also this is just like an ad, i'll continue the story. Also please don't be silent readers.

I Dragged Jin hyung's ass to the bedroom, where I sat him down, with Taehyung trailing behing me.

“Jungkook, can I take off this blindfold now, its itching my eyes, and I can't have puffy eyes.” Jin grumbled. "No you can't, just wait alittle bit more.” I said while wondering where the others are and to hurry up with the cake.

“Why the hell did you drag me here, I have a beauty appointment in like thirty minutes, so you better hurry the fuck up.” I looked up at Taehyung, hoping that they can hurry up, because I don't want my ass beat.

“Where the fuck is Hobi hyung with the cake.” I mouthed. “Namjoon accidentally tripped and fell on it, so he's getting a new one.” Jin must have sensed my panic as he told me “Jungkook, what the fuck is going on.”

My eyes widened,“Um I wanted to sing to you.” If Jin's eyes weren't blindfolded, he would have been giving me the “I don't believe your bullshit” look. Even Taehyung was shaking his head.

“You made me get up from the couch, make me pause my show, blindfold me, then drag my worldwide ass up the stairs, just to tell me that you wanted me to listen to you SING.” I winced, as his voice gradually got louder with each word.

“Um, yea.” I mumbled. There was a moment of silence before Jin said. “Taehyung make yourself useful and hold my hoops.” Jin said while taking off his earings.

“How did you know I was here” Taehyung sputtered, clearly shocked. “I didn't you dumb bitch, now hold my hoops.” Taehyung in shock just grabbed his hoops, and set them aside.

Jin started to crack his fingers, then his neck. “Alright, listen you dumb bitch, tell me what's going on and I won't put you six feet under.” I didn't know what to say, so I ran behind Taehyung and hid.

“Oh, so you want to play that game, ok.” Jin then slowly got up, turned our direction, and at break neck speed, dashed at us.“ WAIT” Taehyung screamed while putting his hands up. 

At that moment Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, and Yoongi came through the door.“ Happy Birthday to yo- oh my gosh.” Hoseok screamed.They walked in to find me and Taehyung cowering in a corner, while Jin had his fist in the air.

“Wait, a minute.” Jin said as he whipped off the blindfold. “You guys were trying to do a suprise birthday party thing.” Jin after looking at our suprised faces, laughed hystericaly. “ Look sis, i've been knew you'll try to pull some shit like this, you know after 7 years it gets old.” 

“Also because a very drunk Jimin told me last monday, but i'll pretend like I didn't see it coming.” We all looked at each other and cleared our throats.

“Oh, ok.” I said, not sure how things were gonna play out. “So what do we do now?” Yoongi asked. “Well I usually eat, but we can read some cards.” Jin then clapped his hands. “Gather around children.”

So we all gathered around and he began. "Ah, from Yoongi.” then he opened the card.

“Dear Jin,  
I wanted to sleep but Namjoon made me do this, I got you a gift card to get some free meat, because if I don't do so you won't leave me alone. I also just wanted to let you know that your one step closer to dying, and that its inevitable.

From Yoongi.” 

“Wow um thanks Yoongi, I could feel the love, next.” 

“Dear hyung,  
I hope your holy, and well. I would say how much I love you but words can't fit that amount of love I want to express. I got you meat, and those chopsticks you've been wanting. Please be healthy hyung.

From your hope, Hoseok.”

“Aw thank you, I can't say the same for you though, but thanks.”

“Dear fellow bottom,  
You taught me to express my inner hoe, and for that i'm grateful. You also taught me how to suck dick, and without your advice, I would still suck dick. Your beautiful, and for that I got you a Dildie. Not any kind, but the expensibe ones that you like because your Namjoon hyung's expensive boy. Also i'm more handsome than you

From your fellow hoe, Taetae.” 

“You make me proud, but don't compare youself to me. I remember the days that I brought you from a lonely virgin, to a stunning slut, like me just less stunning.” Jim said while wiping fake tears from his eyes.

“Dear Hyungie,  
I love you hyung, you inspire me a whole lot, so I got you money, meat, and that new RJ plushie you've been wanting. I hope you live a very long, and healthy life.

From your friend Chim.”

“Wow Jimin, thanks a lot honestly.”

“Dear bitch,  
You really make bomb ass food, and for that i'm grateful. You also provide me with hentai, Banana milk, Timbs, and white T-shirts. Also your getting old bitch, I can already see the wrinkles on your face.

From Golden Nochu.”

“I'm gonna kill you, you fucking brat.” Jin lunged at me, but Namjoon held him back, and took him into their room. I think he calmed down when Namjoon gave him his present.

FLASHBACK

“What should I get him?” Namjoon asked while pacing back and forth.“Well dick him down” I said. “What no I can't do that, what if he hates me, or doesn't like it.” Taehyung sensing Namjoom's distress came to his aid.

“It's obvious that he likes you. If I have to see him oggling at you, i'm going to bark.” Taehyung said while patting his back.“Go for it hyung, trust me he'll want it, anyone would. He would be hella stupid if he rejects it.” Namjoon looked at us for confirmation.

“Are you sure?” He asked still unsure. “YES” we all yelled. “Go get that D hyung.” I said while pushing him away.

END OF FLASHBACK

It's been two hours now, and I think Jin enjoy's his present, because I can hear them thru my airpods. I just want to listen to I.U 

SIX HOURS LATER

“Are they still going at it” Jimin groaned while putting his hand to his hair. “Jesus Christ, how much stamina does those two have.” Yoongi swore. “Even I'm not THAT loud.” Taehyung grumbled. “I need some holy water.” Hoseok muttered. “I regret telling Namjoon to “go get that D”. I moaned, and everyone agreed.

Thats when we all heard a moan that could rival the loudest pornstar.

“SHUT UP”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give our man a big happy birthday hug.


	8. Crazy For Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its Tae bday, and Jungkook doesn't know what to get Taehyung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summary should explain this chapter, also Ren is a reference to the game and anime DRAMAtical Murder where there is a dog named Ren.

Jungkook was struggling to get Taehyung his birthday gift he had months, well two to be precise to get something but instead he just played Overwatch. It was literally the day of Taehyung's birthday and he had to go get something now, so he pulled himself off the bed, got dressed and headed out the door. Jungkook didn't really know what Taehyung wanted because he never really asked him, but he now realized that it was a mistake. He was driving around with no clear direction of where to go when an idea popped up.

"I should get Taehyungie a puppy" He murmured to himself "Yes everyone likes puppies who doesn't love puppies" so with that in mind he headed to the animal shelter. When he arrived there, he wasted no time with getting out the car and into the shelter. "Hello" he said to the lady in the front desk, Karen was the name on her name tag. "Oh no a boomer" he whispered to himself "Excuse me" Karen said as she cocked her eyebrow. "I said do you know where the dogs are?" She hummed "They're back there" as she said this she pointed to the door behind her.

"Thank you" Jungkook said as he hurried towards the door "Young man" Karen called out "Yes?" She smiled "I'm not a BOOMER as you kids put it, i'm a visco mom sksksksksk" she even held out her hydroflask covered with stickers, it made me want to die on the inside. So I basically ran inside the door and slammed it shut, the only things worse than boomers are visco girls, they're freaking scary. Anyways as I entered the room the dogs literally stopped what they were doing and looked at me.

"What up bitch" my eyes widened "Who said that?" I was getting freaked out. "Down here princess" as I looked down a fluffy cute dog that had black fur looked at me. "I think i'm going crazy, dogs are talking and it's that one visco mom fault". All the dogs then looked at the dog in front of me "Get him" he ordered and all of a sudden the dogs all jumped me and somehow managed to carry me to some sort of dog throne and sitting on that dog throne was Yeontan. "Yeontan" I growled "Ren set the human down" the Ren dog nodded and commanded the rest to do so. "Well, well, well if it isn't Jungkook" I rolled my eyes "Oh shut up Yeontan and get to the chase".

For those who didn't know me and Yeontan go wayyyyyy back.

FLASHBACK

FIVE YEARS AGO

It was a cold winter day and Jungkook was sitting on his chair, playing Overwatch as you do when he heard a crash coming from outside. When he looked out the window he saw what appeared like five dogs attacking this one dog. He couldn't just sit there and watch this dog get hurt, so he went out there and broke up the fight.

When he did rescue the dog he felt an urge to protect this dog and so he nursed it back to health and provided it with everything. He named the dog Yeontan because it was unique like him. The pair were inseparable and close duo. Then the unthinkable happened.

Yeontan left Jungkook over a fight they had over Banana Milk, in that fight Jungkook threw away Yeontan's Doggy toys and Yeontan peed on his Timbs. ( So basically imagine you yelling at your dog, and your dog barking at you and then your dog leaves you for another owner or the Kardashians basically the same thing )

END OF FLASHBACK

"Why the hell did you come here Jungkook? You made it very clear that you never wanted to see me again" Jungkook felt tears in his eyes "I WAS NAIVE BACK THEN, I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANTED AND YOU LEFT ME FOR SOMEONE ELSE". Yeontan rolled his eyes "You didn't answer my question".

"I don't have to explain myself to you" If dogs could gasp that's what they'll be doing right now. "OH SO THAT'S HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY" Yeontan screamed at him. The atmosphere was getting tense and not in the good way.

"Guys, guys listen to yourselves, I don't know you guys relationship but calm down" Ren said as he tried to diffuse the tension. "Fine" Jungkook sighed. "I came here because I wanted to give Taehyung a dog for his birthday" at the mention of Taehyung, Yeontan's eyes widened "Taehyung" he repeated after Jungkook.

Jungkook was getting confused "How the hell do you know Taehyung?" Yeontan smirked and licked his paw. "I met him on Tinder" Jungkook's eyes widened "Tinder" he repeated. " Yes the app where you meet people, swipe left or right, I thought you knew this".

"What, no it's not that, I mean I know what Tinder is, it's just that one, how the fuck do you have an account and two, didn't know Taehyung was into that". Yeontan howled with laughter.

"One, bitches and two, he was looking for a dog" Jungkook felt stupid "Oh, well since you know he wants a dog can you be the dog I give to him?" Jungkook asked with a hopeful tone "Sure".

"What, just like that?" Yeontan stared at Jungkook for a long time before nodding "Alright".

2 hours later

Taehyung hugged Jungkook when came inside "I thought you would never come" Jungkook blushed from feeling Taehyungs chest on his, and his smelling his sweet scent of Lavender, and vanilla pudding.

"Ruff, ruff bitch" Taehyung recognized that deep voice " Tannie?" Yeontan then came into view in between Jungkook's muscular legs. "OH MY GOD TANNIE!" Taehyung squealed with delight while picking Yeontan up and bringing him close to his chest. 

"You got Tannie for me" Taehyung said while looking at Jungkooko with adoring eyes, Jungkook didn't know what to do so he rubbed the back of his neck and let out a small "yea". Taehyung led Jungkook into a bone crushing hug and whispered in his ear "Thank you". 

Yeontan then nipped Taehyung's feet and said "Ayo mama let me whisper in your ear" and Taehyung giggled, picked him up and took him to the rec room. We were all looking at each other in awkward silence the Hoseok suddenly said "I want Yoongi"


	9. Ego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook's diary entree number two.
> 
> Aka Jungkook's short stories

Date: 2/3/2020

Dear diary, I have been working here at this poor excuse of a fast food place for one year now and I think i'm going to explode. Alot of stuff went down in that one year so I'm going to take ya'll hoes down memory lane with three short stories.

_Date: 1/2/19_

It was the ass crack of dawn when the groupchat was having a world war down there.

**Bhad Bitchesssssss**

**Mr.Crabs**: And that's why crabs are the best animals

**ThickNicky**: Really Namjoon-hyung, we all know puppies are the way to go

**SluttyTiger**: Guys, I have an announcement 

**WorldWidePrincess**: Shut up Tae, go get the popcorn, they fighting lol

**SluttyTiger**: Hyung that is not how you use "lol"

**WorldWidePrincess**: Be quiet you uncultured swine

**Die**: Can ya'll shut up, i'm trying to sleep

**Sunshine**: Yoongi that isn't nice

**Die**: Die

**WorldWidePrincess**: ...

**ThickNicky**: Tae what did you do, Jin just stormed past me and into your room

**SluttyTiger**: I took his Ramen Noodles, and dumped it in the trash

**Mr.Crabs**: Taehyung you messed up big time, you know that when it comes to food Jin-hyung don't play

**WorldWidePrincess**: :)

**Sunshine**: 3

**Sunshine**: 2

**Sunshine**: 1

**SluttyTiger**: JIN WHAT THE FUCK

**Die**: I hate everyone

_Die has left the chat_

_Sunshine has added Die back to Chat_

**Die**: I hate you 

**Sunshine**: Sowwy :((((((

**GoldenNochu**: What the hell is going on, I just had a nightmare where I met Oli london and he kidnapped me for Jimin pics

**ThickyNcky**: 1. Read the chat and 2. What the hell Jungkook

**Bhad Bitchesssssss**

That's when I heard demonic Banshee screaming coming from down the hallway. I went to go look outside and Taehyung and Jin were both sprawled on the ground, growling at each other like animals and while grabbing each others hair. "Jungkook get the popcorn" the dwarf commanded and I didn't need to be told twice, so I ran all the way downstairs, popped some popcorn and got a chair and started watching the fight.

Taehyung was straddling Jin, and was punching him, but then Jin did like a weird wwe move, flipped Taehyung and punched him in the face. "What happened?' I asked and Hoseok not taking his eyes off the scene responded to me with 'Jin ripped his new gucci" I mouthed "Oh" and honestly I was rooting for Jin to win. Don't get me wrong, Tae is my homie but Jin is hella scary when he is mad.

The action in front of me was like something straight out of wwe, like Jake Paul and Gib could never( even though that match made me want to get drafted into the world war ). Anyway it got to the point where Jin had held Taehyung against the wall, hands in his hair, and we heard a vicious _SLAP_ sound and we all watched quietly to see how Taehyung would react.

Turns out he started crying like a little bitch, then I had to comfort him like "It's okay remember your crazy for yourself' and he started giggling like a toddler, keep in mind that by the time this whole argument was over it was like 8:am and Jin had the audacity to make us go to work. Fuck you.

_Date: 6/20/19_

I was having a really horrifying nightmare, it went along the lines of this. 

I was laying on my bed listening to Ego when I heard a knock on my door. It slowly opened and it was Jimin, who looked terrified out of his mind. "What happened to you?" I asked but he didn't respond instead he walked towards me and hid behind me. "Why are you hiding?'" and I soon found out when I heard an "JIMINIE SARANGHAE" and I shot up from my bed, and now I knew why Jimin was afraid.

"shhh" I whispered, taking Jimin and hiding him in the closet while I grabbed my hentai cds to throw it like ninja stars if I had to. "OPPAR WHERE ARE YOUUU" the horrifying voice sang out, this time getting closer and closer. I had refused to wait for him to come here so I opened the door to face the creature one on one. When I opened the door, no one was here but I started to feel chills down my spine and I heard the creepy voice now whisper in my ear "Onionhaseyo, it's me Oli imida" and I booked it faster than Yoongi's tongue technology.

As I was running down the endless maze of hallways, I came to a dead end. I didn't dare turn around because I knew what was waiting for me and I was correct when I felt hand touch my waist and press me closer to him."Do you know where Jiminie is?" he asked as I felt his warm breathe down my neck. "Get off me" I whispered, closing my eyes tight as he squeezed my waist even tighter. "You may not be my first choice but I can work with what I got" and with that he flipped me around, and the view was horrifying.

Words couldn't describe the terror that struck within me when I saw him, I felt like I was about to throw up at the gruesome sight. There isn't enough words for me to roast him crisply so I woke up. When I woke I gasped, chest heaving heavily as I took in the fresh air. That's when I heard something move behind me and the hairs on the back of my neck were now standing more erect than my dick when i'm hard, which is pretty straight which is funny since i'm ga- anyway, I heard that terrifying voice again. "Hello Jungkook"

_Date: 1/4/20_

I stared at the letter in my hand and as I read the letter I lost my shit.

_Jeon Jungkook, you and other people have been selected for this year draft to fight in the war._

_We will come to get you at exactly 3:00 am today, get ready to fight for a country that you don't even live in._

_The only reason you were picked is because most of our Americans have climbed the wall and fled to mexico, plus your hot so you can distract the enemy with your charms._

_Remember not to loose hope, as we will naruto run faster than their bombs, and take out the threat, call of duty style. Good luck in this hard time Jeon Jungkook, and may you survive this horrible tragedy._

"OH HELL NO" I screamed, not believing the horrible evidence in my hands. Of course my screams attracted the other members who were worried about me. "Jk what's wrong" Namjoon asked and I could only respond with "I'm dead". Jin just looked at me, unimpressed and said 'You better have a better excuse than that, or i'll shove my high hell down your throat and you'll really be dead". Jin always threatens me so I wasn't really fazed by this, it was only when I was hugged from behind I cried.

"Kookie, what happened?" Yoongi asked and for the first time I actually saw him care about me, however I shook my head unable to force the horrible words out of my throat. "I-I I got drafted" and as those words left my mouth and uncomfortable silence spread in the air. "So when you die Jungkook, can I take your overwatch account?" 

"Jimin" Taehyung yelled in shock, clearly not believing what just came out of his soulmate's mouth. "What, he has a nice console" and Jimin shrugged and walked away. "That dwarf" I muttered angrily, but I couldn't let this get to me. "Don't worry we won't let them take you" I looked at Hoseok feeling slightly better as he said that. "We will?" and of course Jin had to ruin the moment. 'Yes we will" Namjoon said and we all nodded. They gave me a time and when they come at 3, there will be a nasty surprise waiting for them.

As it turned 2:59 I had already went over the game plan, as we all got in our positions ready for whatever that was going to happen. When it was three, the door was busted open, windows kicked in, and people climbing down from the rooftop. "FBI OPEN UP" a manly voice yelled and as soon as they stepped unto the floor it was game time. 

As a group of officers entered the living room, seokjin was standing there in the dim lit room and the lights turned on and faced him. Jungkook hear the officers screaming in pain as they faced the wrath of Jin scolding them. When other officers entered the bathroom, Jungkook could hear Taehyung scream "CrAzY FoR MySeLf" and the sound of people falling to the ground.

As more and more officers came, more and more fell to Yoongi roasting the hell out of them, Hoseok hip thrusting, Fainting at the scene of the Jibooty, Namjoon lecturing them to death, and finally me. When they entered my room they weren't expecting a meme filled boy, screaming, yelling memes, and doing dead dances. Currently I was screaming "RENEGADE, RENEGADE, RENEGADE" at the top of his lungs while dabbing nonstop. "HE'S DABBING IN 2020, RUNNNNN" and a stampede of officers came rushing out of the room and out the door.

When the last of officers left, they all collapsed on the couch. "Geez, that took a lot out of me" Jin exclaimed as he wiped his nonexistent sweat. "Thanks guys" I said, honestly grateful for not being taken to the drafts, and everyone group hugged.

Hope that satisfied you little shits, and tell Jin hyung to give me a damn raise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya'll enjoyed this cause I really did, also I really love you guys and I think ya'll are amazing, but please feel free to write your thoughts in the comments, I don't want ya'll to be silent! Also Ego is a bop, go stream it!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this fic does well, have a great day/night  
YoUr NiCe KeEp GOiNg


End file.
